"You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female.' - Diana Vreeland
Emma, thank you for clarifying that quote, which I have always read was said by Diana Vreeland. She did have plenty to say, however, as the Editor of both Harper's Bazaar and of Vogue for a season and a special consultant at the Costume Institute of the Met and in general, for her great knowledge of garments and beauty.
Diana Vreeland was certainly a sage in her own time and place. She knew the dark side of fashion and beauty and I am sure she would have plenty of pithy and blunt comments on some of the skeletal young ladies of modern 2026. Such sad stuff for these women, likely lonely, weary, suffering from the bullying behavior of some of the beauty world. I could never do that to my body! Of course, I am an Elder and few look at the old to begin with...but I never craved to look THAT thin in my youth! Sad-sad- and more sad! Women look best with a bit more padding! We are designed for a bit more padding, in moderation!
I can barely stand to look at her, or Madonna, or many other female celebrities that are succumbing to this anorexia or surgical alteration. It looks sickly.
P.S. I've not heard or read about Tom Hanks' parties. I looked online (first page of results) and see only his colonoscopy parties with a couple other old guys.
Colonoscopy parties? Egads! I think I will skip looking those up. The great Jamie Dlux (he’s on Substack too, definitely check him out) makes videos about these dark topics. This one covers Tom Hanks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VXTbNVUf58 Tom Hanks allegedly dresses as a woman and chases little girls around and then rapes them with a strap on.
lol that was the only party I found online, and he goes into deal how he and his pals prep for the colonoscopy. It probably makes it much less onerous to suffer with friends.
I think it is important to understand that Anorexia is a complex and horrific mental disorder. Too many people believe that it just takes common sense or willpower for sufferers to “just eat”. Anorexia starves the brain of vital nutrients, causing victims to not be able to think rationally, which makes it nearly impossible for them to “just eat”. If Ariana Grande is indeed Anorexic, she is not evil. She is sadly lacking the complete support network around her that is required to enable her to get the help she needs using evidence-based treatment.
She is an abused person who has dissociated so much that she does not understand the impact she has on others. I think influencing little children to have eating disorders is evil, and I’m not afraid to say so. I’m not saying it’s her fault. I’m just saying that she is spreading her toxicity without trying.
Thank you for your reply. Anorexia is one of the most misunderstood and maligned mental illnesses. Often times, sufferers experience comorbid conditions like severe anxiety disorders. If she has Anorexia, she is mentally incapable of understanding the effect she may be having on others because she is incapable of seeing the effect it is having on herself. If anyone is interested in learning about the science behind the effects of starvation on the brain, I recommend researching the Minnesota Starvation Experiment by Dr. Ancel Keyes and the subsequent 1950 report called The Biology of Human Starvation.
Anorexics love heroin, and any other addictive activity. Death for them is part of the "game". Look at me, I'm playing with death, would make an interesting if but difficult (emotionally) study.
This is a very strange reply. I don’t know where you got the idea that people suffering with Anorexia love heroin or that they are playing some death game. These remarks just illuminate how impossibly ignorant many people are about the causes of and science behind eating disorders.
Growing up in an abusive household (CSA by older brother, extremely controlling and verbally abusive mother) is what caused my anorexia. Not looking at skinny girls. At 16, I learned that I did have control of my life, by the food I consumed. Its a control disease. I'm 58, I survived and am lucky to be thriving, but I still glance in the mirror far too often. Happy to use the gym to maintain fitness and not pills. Regardless, learning to have a healthy relationship with myself and my body has taken a crap ton of work. I imagine someone like AG has surprisingly little control of their life and food is perhaps what little they can control. Humans. God we're a mess.
Thank you Caroline. How awful to have to deal with that as a child. Voices like yours — survivors of both an ED and abuse — are hugely important, more so than mine because you have actually been through it.
Thank you for your honesty and clarity. This tragedy of anorexia has been known for decades, yet holds such power over girls and women. A hand surgeon who practiced in a wealthy community said that her wealthy, skinny female patients have such brittle bones they can barely be operated on. Where is common sense?
Thank you Julianne. I agree, it is a tragedy that has wasted many lives, not just of girls and women but of boys and men too. I cannot imagine getting to middle age and being so fragile that my hand would shatter if someone shook it too hard.
Look into her association with Harley Pasternak, personal-trainer to the stars. Former Canadian military intelligence. There is an obscure message board thread I was able to find with a lot of digging once (sorry no link) where an anonymous poster who absolutely fits the bill of Pasternak replies to questions for like a couple hundred pages worth. He talks extensively of working with a celebrity “AG”. (He was the one who threatened Kanye over text to get him committed again). He uses methods like sensory deprivation tanks and other stuff to install trauma into celeb’s psyches for means of control. He paints a broader picture in which he is an amoral, sociopathic handler (technician) engineering celebs, including their various personas and eras, on behalf of occult bloodline families, who view them like pets, and use them to influence public perception but also like send inside messages to each other via performance symbology or veiled public statements. It’s extremely detailed and took me half a day of rapt attention to read it all. If that’s true, AG (and other celebs) are even more highly-controlled than you might have assumed.
My dad's favorite singer was Karen Carpenter, and the only time I ever saw him demonstrably afraid was when I went through a period of severe diet restriction after a leg surgery in high school. In hindsight, I realize just how significant it was for him to see me lose that much weight so quickly. Her story is a helpful cautionary tale, and maybe more people should learn about it, with all the Demis and Arianas in the media now.
Well, this was a really interesting read. I find both anorexia and the body positivity movement equally bad for our society. They both enable an unhealthy relationship to food.
Mrs. Grande has an exceptional talent and this alone should be enough. Somebody (maybe her parents) should tell her to enjoy herself und make the most out of her youth und talent.
I agree with you — the body positivity movement was as toxic as this current era of hyper-slimness. Imbalance goes both ways. I do wish our culture could find a way to embrace moderation.
I don’t Grande has ever felt her talent was enough, much like Karen Carpenter before her.
I have this old black and white photo of my mom and my dad’s sisters dancing. They were in their late 30s maybe early 40s-. None were skinny or thin. They had boobs, thick waists from having children, but they were freaking happy!!
My dad and my uncles adored their wives. This obsession with body perfection is insanely evil - takes the very joy at being alive. I grew up in the Twiggy era- wasted too much time and energy on body perfection
The skinny aesthetic has been in vogue for about 100 years now, and it is our version of foot-binding. Serves the same purpose: keeps women and girls weak and under control. The adoration of skinny is a fetish rooted in pedophilia. I wish I had realized that long ago. Even though I did not have an ED, I thought too much about food and that is time that could have been spent reading or talking to trees.
Honestly, I don’t think her 2016 images should have been attractive to any normal person either. She was 24 but looked 14. She was always doing a pedo aesthetic.
I read this story and then went and looked at pictures of her, with the comparison over years. Yikes. One supposes that someday, if she lives that long, she will realize how much of her life she has wasted in pursuit of a “golden ring” that can never be reached. I feel sorry for her future self.
Great article! Minor note: her character's name in Victorious is also Cat (Catarina), not Racquelle. Loved your observations and your style of writing! It's truly a tragic situation.
Every time it’s brought up there is a sea of people who question it, and to me, that’s the most disturbing part—that something can be that undeniable and blatant and still be denied openly and loudly and collectively. And this is exactly how that kind of thing needs to be approached. It is not a debate, it’s a fact. If I brought my cat into the vet, and she looked like Ariana Grande right now, they’d admit her and call animal welfare.
"You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female.' - Diana Vreeland
Poor Ariana needs to re-read this quote over and over again until something sticks. Thank you for digging this up, it’s an oldie but goodie.
This is not actually a Diana Vreeland quote, it's from the fashion writer Erin McKean of the Dress a Day blog.
Thank you! It’s a great quote and it is important to know who actually said it.
Emma, thank you for clarifying that quote, which I have always read was said by Diana Vreeland. She did have plenty to say, however, as the Editor of both Harper's Bazaar and of Vogue for a season and a special consultant at the Costume Institute of the Met and in general, for her great knowledge of garments and beauty.
Sorry for the misquote. It was from some other post I saw but glad to know who said it. 😊
Diana Vreeland was certainly a sage in her own time and place. She knew the dark side of fashion and beauty and I am sure she would have plenty of pithy and blunt comments on some of the skeletal young ladies of modern 2026. Such sad stuff for these women, likely lonely, weary, suffering from the bullying behavior of some of the beauty world. I could never do that to my body! Of course, I am an Elder and few look at the old to begin with...but I never craved to look THAT thin in my youth! Sad-sad- and more sad! Women look best with a bit more padding! We are designed for a bit more padding, in moderation!
Oh that’s not a Diana Vreeland quote. She was a vogue editor and probably very into the idea of beauty as an obligation
And please think about what you are saying when you post, "My beautiful daughter..." and whom your are excluding from value.
I can barely stand to look at her, or Madonna, or many other female celebrities that are succumbing to this anorexia or surgical alteration. It looks sickly.
P.S. I've not heard or read about Tom Hanks' parties. I looked online (first page of results) and see only his colonoscopy parties with a couple other old guys.
Colonoscopy parties? Egads! I think I will skip looking those up. The great Jamie Dlux (he’s on Substack too, definitely check him out) makes videos about these dark topics. This one covers Tom Hanks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VXTbNVUf58 Tom Hanks allegedly dresses as a woman and chases little girls around and then rapes them with a strap on.
This seems wildly made up.
WTF but somehow I am not surprised
I will hand it to Tom Hanks that he is a good actor, because he seemed so sweet and good all those years when he clearly was not anything of the sort.
Cat. I can’t unsee the vision of Tom Hanks parties that you have placed in my head with nary a peep of warning. ⛔️😳
lol that was the only party I found online, and he goes into deal how he and his pals prep for the colonoscopy. It probably makes it much less onerous to suffer with friends.
I think it is important to understand that Anorexia is a complex and horrific mental disorder. Too many people believe that it just takes common sense or willpower for sufferers to “just eat”. Anorexia starves the brain of vital nutrients, causing victims to not be able to think rationally, which makes it nearly impossible for them to “just eat”. If Ariana Grande is indeed Anorexic, she is not evil. She is sadly lacking the complete support network around her that is required to enable her to get the help she needs using evidence-based treatment.
She is an abused person who has dissociated so much that she does not understand the impact she has on others. I think influencing little children to have eating disorders is evil, and I’m not afraid to say so. I’m not saying it’s her fault. I’m just saying that she is spreading her toxicity without trying.
Thank you for your reply. Anorexia is one of the most misunderstood and maligned mental illnesses. Often times, sufferers experience comorbid conditions like severe anxiety disorders. If she has Anorexia, she is mentally incapable of understanding the effect she may be having on others because she is incapable of seeing the effect it is having on herself. If anyone is interested in learning about the science behind the effects of starvation on the brain, I recommend researching the Minnesota Starvation Experiment by Dr. Ancel Keyes and the subsequent 1950 report called The Biology of Human Starvation.
Thank you, I will look into that. I have not heard of it before.
Anorexics love heroin, and any other addictive activity. Death for them is part of the "game". Look at me, I'm playing with death, would make an interesting if but difficult (emotionally) study.
This is a very strange reply. I don’t know where you got the idea that people suffering with Anorexia love heroin or that they are playing some death game. These remarks just illuminate how impossibly ignorant many people are about the causes of and science behind eating disorders.
"if" !?
Growing up in an abusive household (CSA by older brother, extremely controlling and verbally abusive mother) is what caused my anorexia. Not looking at skinny girls. At 16, I learned that I did have control of my life, by the food I consumed. Its a control disease. I'm 58, I survived and am lucky to be thriving, but I still glance in the mirror far too often. Happy to use the gym to maintain fitness and not pills. Regardless, learning to have a healthy relationship with myself and my body has taken a crap ton of work. I imagine someone like AG has surprisingly little control of their life and food is perhaps what little they can control. Humans. God we're a mess.
Thank you Caroline. How awful to have to deal with that as a child. Voices like yours — survivors of both an ED and abuse — are hugely important, more so than mine because you have actually been through it.
Thank you for your honesty and clarity. This tragedy of anorexia has been known for decades, yet holds such power over girls and women. A hand surgeon who practiced in a wealthy community said that her wealthy, skinny female patients have such brittle bones they can barely be operated on. Where is common sense?
Thank you Julianne. I agree, it is a tragedy that has wasted many lives, not just of girls and women but of boys and men too. I cannot imagine getting to middle age and being so fragile that my hand would shatter if someone shook it too hard.
Nickelodeon... It's a child molestation factory for the elite.
Look into her association with Harley Pasternak, personal-trainer to the stars. Former Canadian military intelligence. There is an obscure message board thread I was able to find with a lot of digging once (sorry no link) where an anonymous poster who absolutely fits the bill of Pasternak replies to questions for like a couple hundred pages worth. He talks extensively of working with a celebrity “AG”. (He was the one who threatened Kanye over text to get him committed again). He uses methods like sensory deprivation tanks and other stuff to install trauma into celeb’s psyches for means of control. He paints a broader picture in which he is an amoral, sociopathic handler (technician) engineering celebs, including their various personas and eras, on behalf of occult bloodline families, who view them like pets, and use them to influence public perception but also like send inside messages to each other via performance symbology or veiled public statements. It’s extremely detailed and took me half a day of rapt attention to read it all. If that’s true, AG (and other celebs) are even more highly-controlled than you might have assumed.
Eew, just looked up Harley Pasternak (I heard about him a while ago, actually) and he’s still very much in business. Slime bag.
My dad's favorite singer was Karen Carpenter, and the only time I ever saw him demonstrably afraid was when I went through a period of severe diet restriction after a leg surgery in high school. In hindsight, I realize just how significant it was for him to see me lose that much weight so quickly. Her story is a helpful cautionary tale, and maybe more people should learn about it, with all the Demis and Arianas in the media now.
Karen Carpenter’s voice was angelic. Such a tragedy
Agreed, her voice had such warmth and charm. She was one of a kind.
Well, this was a really interesting read. I find both anorexia and the body positivity movement equally bad for our society. They both enable an unhealthy relationship to food.
Mrs. Grande has an exceptional talent and this alone should be enough. Somebody (maybe her parents) should tell her to enjoy herself und make the most out of her youth und talent.
I agree with you — the body positivity movement was as toxic as this current era of hyper-slimness. Imbalance goes both ways. I do wish our culture could find a way to embrace moderation.
I don’t Grande has ever felt her talent was enough, much like Karen Carpenter before her.
All that trouble to look terrible.
Exactly. Hopefully people are finally seeing it for what it is though instead of falling for another glamour.
I have this old black and white photo of my mom and my dad’s sisters dancing. They were in their late 30s maybe early 40s-. None were skinny or thin. They had boobs, thick waists from having children, but they were freaking happy!!
My dad and my uncles adored their wives. This obsession with body perfection is insanely evil - takes the very joy at being alive. I grew up in the Twiggy era- wasted too much time and energy on body perfection
The skinny aesthetic has been in vogue for about 100 years now, and it is our version of foot-binding. Serves the same purpose: keeps women and girls weak and under control. The adoration of skinny is a fetish rooted in pedophilia. I wish I had realized that long ago. Even though I did not have an ED, I thought too much about food and that is time that could have been spent reading or talking to trees.
This is not attractive to any normal person. It's a mental illness.
Honestly, I don’t think her 2016 images should have been attractive to any normal person either. She was 24 but looked 14. She was always doing a pedo aesthetic.
Much like politics, “Hollywood” and the entertainment industry are run by outside forces, designed to control us.
Is there any way out?
I guess, one at a time. Rejecting their brainwashing, lies and corruption. Forging our own paths.
Thank you Deborah. Yes, there are many dark forces that are designed to control us and to appeal to our worst selves.
I wrote an essay a while back that attempts to answer your question “Is there any way out?”
I believe the answer is Yes. https://kimberlysteele.substack.com/p/the-alternative-path
I read this story and then went and looked at pictures of her, with the comparison over years. Yikes. One supposes that someday, if she lives that long, she will realize how much of her life she has wasted in pursuit of a “golden ring” that can never be reached. I feel sorry for her future self.
I truly hope she finds a way to heal and grow to a ripe old age. It's not looking like that will happen though.
Great article! Minor note: her character's name in Victorious is also Cat (Catarina), not Racquelle. Loved your observations and your style of writing! It's truly a tragic situation.
heartbreaking, but i also noticed that about racquelle lol - thanks for pointing it out
Every time it’s brought up there is a sea of people who question it, and to me, that’s the most disturbing part—that something can be that undeniable and blatant and still be denied openly and loudly and collectively. And this is exactly how that kind of thing needs to be approached. It is not a debate, it’s a fact. If I brought my cat into the vet, and she looked like Ariana Grande right now, they’d admit her and call animal welfare.
omg please dont starve a hungry cat!
I don’t think there is any danger of that, Charlie Rhodes is just using it as a hypothetical example.