We had our three children who are in their young 20’s in our 20’s (married at 22) and I am so thankful for it. I never felt judged or looked down upon, however, we grew up and continue to live in a smaller, Southern town where almost everyone we knew had a church upbringing so perhaps that helped. You are correct that it is important to encourage young Mothers and Fathers. I can think of several with gratitude who did that for us.
well, this is a good conversation starter, it's a false choice. schooling as it exists now is grossly wasteful of time. (see john taylor gatto and charlote iserbut's books) women are the backbone of life, and need a solid understanding of every arena. ignorant women make terrible mothers and often raise weak broken people. women need a different education than they are offered, to be sure. but the more disciplined mentally they are the better mothers they will be. children should have the best we can give. A mother is the last line of defense against insane vaccine schedules for example. Naive women will not protect their children well. suggest drawing - it proves you can observe correctly- the trivium, quadrivium, and anatomy, basic nutrition, self defense, understanding of predator grooming behavior, home finance, resource management, time management, age appropriate communication and learning. so, i think girls need MORE and demanding education. a powerful mind will combat the insecurity that is planted into girls about their looks.
Yes, you nailed it. Women these days are ignorant, naive, and distracted. I was just commenting on my other blog that the Home Ec classes in my junior high and high school were taught by inept homemakers. One I knew because I briefly dated her son: her cooking was terrible and her house was a mess. If these women had lacked the modern conveniences of electricity, takeout cuisine, and potable water direct from the tap, it is not likely their children would have survived infancy.
In my school, like many others, history inc. the Constitution, Algebra, and English class were required but Taxes 101 was not. Self-defense? That wasn't even an elective as far as I recall. I was forced to dissect a pregnant cat -- it was one of the worst experiences of my life and still puts me into a murderous rage directed towards the people who would not let me opt out -- yet Taxes 101 was an elective. If I could do it all again, I would have dropped out of school at age 11.
exactly, dissecting a cat was totally a waste of time. worse that busywork, traumatic. people should learn at least emergency herbs or hot to check a pule or fever.... how to identify a heart attack, stroke AND what to do if someone seems to be having one. the heimlick maneuver. useful stuff. how to swim. i could design a better education in my sleep.
Everything I know about herbs is self-taught. I cannot remember a single muscle or organ aside from the obvious ones like "uterus full of dead kittens" or "heart" from the experience with the cat. All I remember is the unnecessary trauma. All of the people involved in forcing that situation should thank their lucky stars I came from a stable background and have always had a great deal of control over my negative emotions.
My one and only child just graduated from high school last week after being homeschooled from K-12. She will be studying a critical needs language this summer and then physics & engineering in the fall and received generous scholarships to fund her education. She has been involved in many extracurricular activities, accrued hundreds of hours of community service work, and served in many leadership roles throughout her high school career. She’s a “success” by any modern definition of the word. I share that info not to brag but to tie in with your points in this post as your arguments as so profound to me at this moment in my life, especially the notion our culture has absolutely lost it when it comes to young childbearing.
Despite my daughter being who she is, the nasty comments and questions we’ve been receiving lately have been at an all time high. Why you ask? Homeschooling certainly plays a role no doubt but my current age (39) seems to be the bigger issue.
I was a few weeks shy of my 21st birthday when she was born and my husband was 23. We’ve been married for 19 years now. For our young ages at marriage and parenthood we will forever have to pay. It’s okay my husband went to war when he was 20–that’s fine by most standards—but becoming parents in our early twenties is where the line needs to be drawn even at the end of this particular chapter of our parenting journey.
All I can do is laugh as I deal with the silliness being directed towards me and my immediate family. It’s absolutely absurd but speaks well to just how weird and wacky our society has become. And it makes me realize how important it is for me and my husband to be there to support and mentor young women and men who are the very young new parents we once were.
Boy, I truly think they are jealous of your daughter. She sounds amazing. Congrats on her graduation! Over on my kimberlysteele.dreamwidth.org blog, MethylEthyl comments that kids are being pushed into the Puer Aeternis mold. College is designed to prolong infancy but so are menial retail jobs that mean you can never make an independent homestead or family unit for yourself.
I just cannot help being me and that's why I am publishing a scathing indictment of putting off childbearing next week. I am thinking of a particular neighborhood where almost everybody delays having children until they are 30+ and let's just say the results are palpable. Idiocracy does not happen because dumb people breed; it happens because smart people wait until they are old to breed. I think I owe a good part of my intellectual capacity to the fact my birthparents were young.
Yes, please act as a mentor to young women who are going to be shamed like you were for having children early. Young, new parents must feel quite alone right now.
"Perhaps if large groups of young and old alike were to stop freaking about about respectability, upward mobility, and other people's sex lives, we could give young people the breathing room they need to live their best lives."
I don't mind people talking about it. What I mind is those that -only- talk about it, and don't act on what they say. That is infuriating. I try not to give advice on things I haven't done, or wish that I had done, if I could do it over again. Or to say thing like, "well, I'm a special case, where I have exceptions to rules for ____ reason, so don't use me as an example." Besides that, to do otherwise would be hypocritical of me.
Mostly I think the whole shaming of young people having kids comes from classism. Somehow it became lower class to have kids when you're most biologically primed for having kids. The only think I can do as a non-parent is cheer from the sidelines.
Fair, but I still saw it in the trades. I have college Ed, dropped out of a master's program, and still ended up in the trades by choice. The youngun's I saw there divided up into never having children or having one or two early, then no more. For them, it was a practical choice - even though I kept trying to tell them that, if they did it right, it's not hard to make it work financially. Just keep the children's expectations realistic, and your own, and do all your own work. You'll be fine.
Thanks for this. At least the trades are a real man's job. I agree, keeping children's expectations realistic would go a long, LONG way in conserving money and giving them a healthy balance as disciplined, productive adults.
We had our three children who are in their young 20’s in our 20’s (married at 22) and I am so thankful for it. I never felt judged or looked down upon, however, we grew up and continue to live in a smaller, Southern town where almost everyone we knew had a church upbringing so perhaps that helped. You are correct that it is important to encourage young Mothers and Fathers. I can think of several with gratitude who did that for us.
well, this is a good conversation starter, it's a false choice. schooling as it exists now is grossly wasteful of time. (see john taylor gatto and charlote iserbut's books) women are the backbone of life, and need a solid understanding of every arena. ignorant women make terrible mothers and often raise weak broken people. women need a different education than they are offered, to be sure. but the more disciplined mentally they are the better mothers they will be. children should have the best we can give. A mother is the last line of defense against insane vaccine schedules for example. Naive women will not protect their children well. suggest drawing - it proves you can observe correctly- the trivium, quadrivium, and anatomy, basic nutrition, self defense, understanding of predator grooming behavior, home finance, resource management, time management, age appropriate communication and learning. so, i think girls need MORE and demanding education. a powerful mind will combat the insecurity that is planted into girls about their looks.
Yes, you nailed it. Women these days are ignorant, naive, and distracted. I was just commenting on my other blog that the Home Ec classes in my junior high and high school were taught by inept homemakers. One I knew because I briefly dated her son: her cooking was terrible and her house was a mess. If these women had lacked the modern conveniences of electricity, takeout cuisine, and potable water direct from the tap, it is not likely their children would have survived infancy.
In my school, like many others, history inc. the Constitution, Algebra, and English class were required but Taxes 101 was not. Self-defense? That wasn't even an elective as far as I recall. I was forced to dissect a pregnant cat -- it was one of the worst experiences of my life and still puts me into a murderous rage directed towards the people who would not let me opt out -- yet Taxes 101 was an elective. If I could do it all again, I would have dropped out of school at age 11.
exactly, dissecting a cat was totally a waste of time. worse that busywork, traumatic. people should learn at least emergency herbs or hot to check a pule or fever.... how to identify a heart attack, stroke AND what to do if someone seems to be having one. the heimlick maneuver. useful stuff. how to swim. i could design a better education in my sleep.
Everything I know about herbs is self-taught. I cannot remember a single muscle or organ aside from the obvious ones like "uterus full of dead kittens" or "heart" from the experience with the cat. All I remember is the unnecessary trauma. All of the people involved in forcing that situation should thank their lucky stars I came from a stable background and have always had a great deal of control over my negative emotions.
hugs
My one and only child just graduated from high school last week after being homeschooled from K-12. She will be studying a critical needs language this summer and then physics & engineering in the fall and received generous scholarships to fund her education. She has been involved in many extracurricular activities, accrued hundreds of hours of community service work, and served in many leadership roles throughout her high school career. She’s a “success” by any modern definition of the word. I share that info not to brag but to tie in with your points in this post as your arguments as so profound to me at this moment in my life, especially the notion our culture has absolutely lost it when it comes to young childbearing.
Despite my daughter being who she is, the nasty comments and questions we’ve been receiving lately have been at an all time high. Why you ask? Homeschooling certainly plays a role no doubt but my current age (39) seems to be the bigger issue.
I was a few weeks shy of my 21st birthday when she was born and my husband was 23. We’ve been married for 19 years now. For our young ages at marriage and parenthood we will forever have to pay. It’s okay my husband went to war when he was 20–that’s fine by most standards—but becoming parents in our early twenties is where the line needs to be drawn even at the end of this particular chapter of our parenting journey.
All I can do is laugh as I deal with the silliness being directed towards me and my immediate family. It’s absolutely absurd but speaks well to just how weird and wacky our society has become. And it makes me realize how important it is for me and my husband to be there to support and mentor young women and men who are the very young new parents we once were.
Boy, I truly think they are jealous of your daughter. She sounds amazing. Congrats on her graduation! Over on my kimberlysteele.dreamwidth.org blog, MethylEthyl comments that kids are being pushed into the Puer Aeternis mold. College is designed to prolong infancy but so are menial retail jobs that mean you can never make an independent homestead or family unit for yourself.
I just cannot help being me and that's why I am publishing a scathing indictment of putting off childbearing next week. I am thinking of a particular neighborhood where almost everybody delays having children until they are 30+ and let's just say the results are palpable. Idiocracy does not happen because dumb people breed; it happens because smart people wait until they are old to breed. I think I owe a good part of my intellectual capacity to the fact my birthparents were young.
Yes, please act as a mentor to young women who are going to be shamed like you were for having children early. Young, new parents must feel quite alone right now.
"Perhaps if large groups of young and old alike were to stop freaking about about respectability, upward mobility, and other people's sex lives, we could give young people the breathing room they need to live their best lives."
I don't mind people talking about it. What I mind is those that -only- talk about it, and don't act on what they say. That is infuriating. I try not to give advice on things I haven't done, or wish that I had done, if I could do it over again. Or to say thing like, "well, I'm a special case, where I have exceptions to rules for ____ reason, so don't use me as an example." Besides that, to do otherwise would be hypocritical of me.
Mostly I think the whole shaming of young people having kids comes from classism. Somehow it became lower class to have kids when you're most biologically primed for having kids. The only think I can do as a non-parent is cheer from the sidelines.
Fair, but I still saw it in the trades. I have college Ed, dropped out of a master's program, and still ended up in the trades by choice. The youngun's I saw there divided up into never having children or having one or two early, then no more. For them, it was a practical choice - even though I kept trying to tell them that, if they did it right, it's not hard to make it work financially. Just keep the children's expectations realistic, and your own, and do all your own work. You'll be fine.
Thanks for this. At least the trades are a real man's job. I agree, keeping children's expectations realistic would go a long, LONG way in conserving money and giving them a healthy balance as disciplined, productive adults.